Trump Angrily Orders Pence to Return All Classified Documents to Mar-a-Lago

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Minutes after it was revealed that classified documents were found at Mike Pence’s home in Indiana, Donald J. Trump demanded that his former Vice-President return all of the secret materials to Mar-a-Lago “at once.”

An incandescently angry Trump addressed the media at his Palm Beach home and accused his former running mate of being “the lowest form of life” for taking documents “that were rightfully mine.”

“Mike Pence took documents from the White House without asking me first if I wanted to take them,” he said. “Mike Pence kept me from having a complete collection of documents, and that, quite frankly, is a disgrace.”

Calling Pence “a total snake in the grass,” Trump said, “All the time he was sucking up to me, he was busy shoving documents down his pants. Some Christian!”

He added that “the Constitution needs to be rewritten” to keep future Vice-Presidents from taking documents that the President might want. “This should never be allowed to happen in our country,” he said.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *