What to Do with Your Hands in Photos

Pose with a hand on your hip.

Hold a colorful cocktail.

Crouch in a sorority squat with your hands on your thighs. Was this pose always so uncomfortable?

Do jazz hands.

Do classical hands.

Do contemporary-folk hands.

Pretend to pull a rope, like a mime.

Hula-hoop and wave your hands in the air while shouting, “No hands!”

Try to remember any posing tips you’ve read over the years. Didn’t “Seventeen” once suggest posing “whatever way feels natural”? Attempt “natural.” End up doing robot arms.

Act like you’re getting your school picture taken. Sit down, turn your legs to the side, and rest your hands on your knees—not there—move them up just a bit—now to the side—keep them there, one on top of the other. Hold it. Keep holding. And . . . done. Good job! Oops, nope—you blinked. Let’s try that again.

Pretend to hold a magic wand and make the camera disappear. Abracadabra—photo situation averted!

Point at imaginary words as if they’re being displayed around you, like a TikToker.

Hold up one hand, palm up, like you’re making a good point. For example, “It shouldn’t be so hard to get one decent photo.”

Notice someone making a similar point nearby. Feel your heart flutter.

Start dating them so you can rest a hand on their chest in photos. And they can rest a hand on your chest! Or they can rest it on your forehead to show that they like your bangs.

Call out in unison, “Finally! We have something to do with our hands!”

Realize that you have nothing in common other than a shared iCloud album filled with hand-on-chest couple photos.

Part ways with a friendly salute.

Treat yourself to a spa day and casually snap a pic of your manicured hand. Hey, that actually looks pretty good!

Decide that, from now on, photos of you will be hands only.

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